Wordplay

APANTHROPINIZATION - (n.) the resignation of human concerns; withdrawal from the world and its problems


SOLIVAGANT - (adj.) wandering alone


DRAPETOMANIA - (n.) an overwhelming urge to run away

Wishful Dreaming

In my dream, he didn't just say hello.
He greeted me with the warmest smile.
He didn't say what's up.
He didn't ask me anything.
He could figure out exactly how I felt.
He took me into his arms.
He held me for what seemed like hours,
and he whispered that he was so happy.
He said he could see no one in the room but me.
I felt safe.
I felt overjoyed.
I was at home.

And then I woke up.
And my heart felt heavy and sick.
Because he isn't mine.
He isn't, and will not be mine.

What I've Been Up To

Since I haven't really posted very much, here is how is how I spent the last days of summer before my last year of high school...

I was so lucky to have the opportunity to visit my family in California. It's such a breathtaking place and I love everything about the state, except the lack of snow in the winter.

Geeking the heck out, as per usual, in San Francisco.

 Avengers in the theaters for the THIRD time with my best friend... if you ask why we saw it for the third time, you will not receive a coherent answer. Just noises and gestures.

Back to the Grind

Senior year is such an odd thing for me to comprehend. The concept that three years of struggle and awkwardness have culminated into this last hurrah of accelerated courses, multitudes of applications, and a never-ending sense of teenage deficiency is completely unbelievable. The level to which my already eruptive stress has elevated is insane. So much that I have to take care of. I understand that it's all part of the process, to grow as a person and morph into adulthood. I get that. But there have been so many times as of late when I have burrowed into myself and my thoughts and just wished that everything could be simple again. That my oft pessimistic attitude could be positive, all the time, again. That my parents would still be able to get along and not create confusion and anger in the minds of their children. That the math problems I do in class could go back to being one simple, solvable equation, which is almost a metaphor for my life. My world is like an enormous math problem, filled with variables, exponents, limits, and substitutions. There is so much I will have to get through and do before I am able to reach the solved equation. I just hope that I will have support and strength for the long road to the answer.

As if I need another social networking medium...

I suppose it was boredom and slight loneliness which led me to create this blog. 

I already have Facebook.

I already have Tumblr.

I already have Pinterest.

I used to have Twitter, but ew.

I guess my mind just needs to go in a million different directions and subject others to its contents in every way possible. It was also kind of persuaded by a good friend of mine who is currently settling down in the faraway state of Utah.

So yeah, feel free to ignore this silly little blog. Ha. I never though I'd be the type to blog. And yet, here we are. And life continues, unaffected.